Danaja

“It’s not what you know that matters. It’s who you know! This phrase is such a common one, particularly in the business world when searching for employment or attempting to get into some place or some thing new in your life.

In my work, (and in my life) it is all about relationships. The more I take the time to listen to people I meet, the more I am enthralled by them. People’s stories are what differentiate us from each other. I am regularly enriched by the people I meet during my travels I feel privileged to have intimacy with so many people throughout the world.

I have known Danaja for 3 years, meeting her the first time I came to Fort Cochin with Paul in January of 2010. At that time, I became involved with the local Ayurvedic clinic, taking advantage of the various treatments and processes designed to enhance health. Dr. Sree Devi is the main Ayurvedic practitioner at the clinic, and we have developed a loving and caring relationship as well. Danaja is the senior technician at the clinic. Previously, although I saw Danaja regularly, she was never my therapist, encouraging, instead, interns and students to perform the prescribed treatment.

During our month, here, in Fort Cochin, I am focusing on healing. Yoga, healthy eating, biking around this fantastic village, learning massage, and engaging in Ayurvedic treatment have been the gist of my daily routine.  Massage treatments, focusing on my joints and muscles, relaxation and sleep has led to a series of various forms of massage; full body massage followed by hot steam (3X), Shirodhara (3X) - a continuous stream of special oils passed over the third eye for a minimum of 1/2 hour. I’ve had this treatment before and it is truly unbelievable! (Check out my blog, October 18, 2011)  Kizhi  (7X) (pronounced Kiri), is a massage with hand made packs that are filled with specifically prescribed herbs, medicinal leaves and therapeutic oils. (Blog entry November 17, 2010) The therapist heats the 2 packs and gently pounds them, one at a time, over the body. All 13 treatments over the next 3 weeks are costing $170.00! I feel like I’m in an exclusive spa, just affordable!

Approaching the end of my treatments, with 4 to go, I have been with Danaja almost every day for the past two weeks. We meet each morning. I completely disrobe. She lovingly and carefully massages my body. She puts eye drops in my eyes daily to treat an eye infection and softly places cucumbers on my eyes to reduce the big black bags that I carry under them. Each day she finishes with a gentle but deep face massage. These are all extras!

We talk some, too, although Danaja’s English is not that great, and my Malayalam is almost nonexistent. I know that Danaja is 48 years old. I know she does NOT colour her hair. It is naturally black. I know she has two children, one boy (18 years) and one girl (15 years). (BTW – I don’t know how they do it, but most Indian families have2 kids…. a boy and a girl) I know she’s been practising Ayurveda massage for 25 years. I know that she lives a five minute walk from the clinic.

My Kizhi treatment starts daily with a head massage. I am seated on a stool. Danaja stands behind me and massages my head. We are both facing the mirror.

“How is your husband?” asks Danaja.

“Paul is great. Thank you. How about your husband?”

“I have no husband.” She says.

“Where is your husband, Danaja?” I ask.

“He die.”

“How long ago?”

“Before 4 years.”

I moan a little, a sort of compassionate sigh. I hear her tears and see her deep sigh. I cannot help my own tears from forming. Both of us succumb. No words are needed. We each wipe our eyes, lift our eyebrows and share a caring, meaningful smile.

I discover that every single rupee that Danaja earns goes for rent to pay for their small home, some food for simple sustenance and education for her two children. Her eldest son is preparing to go to post secondary school. That costs a lot of money for an Indian resident!!!!!

 In India, women do not re-marry! It is not encouraged and it is not supported. Widows remain widows forever, usually, and there isn’t any compassionate support. Danaja’s son is committed to become a teacher. That will take 6 extra years of study. Her daughter is still in 9^th grade and goes to a government run school. For us, tuition is minimal ($250.00 a year). For Indians it is exorbitant.  Maybe there is some way that we can help.

There are many, many people I meet and talk with as I travel. Some of them have become good friends over time...forever friends! It makes travelling so much richer and enhances my life with each new love I get to share. Our stories are unique and are most valuable when they are shared. I am constantly inspired to listen, and learn and love. My life is charmed! It is definitely who I know that makes it so!