Sunday, May 6, 2012

Thoughts About Time

I feel a little like I’ve fallen off the edge of the earth. It has been a long time since I last sat down to write! Time passes. Sometimes I wonder about where the time goes and why it’s still challenging to take the time to do things I love to do. Writing is not just about documenting what I’m doing or thinking or feeling. It’s a way for me to communicate with those I care about. It offers me time to reflect and helps me put my life’s experiences in to perspective. That has always been important to me. Even as a young girl, my friends and family would often say, “Amy, you think too much.”

Thinking is good! Lately I’ve been thinking about time.

The passing of time is wondrous. In my life I have thought of time as ‘flying by’.  Marvelling at the experiences in my life, I observe them as they pass in time. Sometimes things happen too fast and I forget to appreciate them. In the past, my life was busy with my work, family responsibilities, community outreach and going to school. Those years are what I call now, ‘the childrearing years.” The passing of time got me from weekend to weekend, when I could be with family and friends, and, have time to settle from a busy week. Adventures in travel happened from ‘time to time’ and were measured by the season. Learning a new language, Yoga, playing a musical instrument or simply ’just being’ were all things I promised to do ‘when I had the time’. When ‘time passes’ it’s gone.  The challenge is to hold on to it.

Yesterday I attended a memorial service, a celebration of life for an old friend of Paul’s who passed away recently after many years of suffering from Alzheimer’s.  After a series of brief speeches and various references to her life’s accomplishments, a lovely slide presentation showed Sylvia throughout her life. I was impressed by the randomly organized selection of photographs. Sylvia’s life was not presented chronologically, but rather as events neatly woven into her existence. Photos of her as a child followed photos of her as grandmother. Her teenage years were interspersed with early maternal years. It reminded me of the notion I’ve been pondering lately “Time doesn’t ‘fly by’ anymore. Time is intricately and tightly woven.

Lately, I am finding it easier to settle into different patterns of activity. I don’t have the need to be that busy anymore. My work no longer overwhelms my life. I am working to live, now, not living to work. I can be just as productive…as influential as I was before…. just differently.

I realize how rich my life has become lately. My son says to me often, “Mom, you have so much more time.” He’s right. I’m not working as much as I used to, and I’m not constantly on the go. And, I realize too that, I am no less productive than I was before. My actions are more intentional, and I maximise their impact.
Recently I read a Face book post that said, “Time doesn’t exist. Clocks exist.” Reflecting a little on that idea, I become clearer about the weaving of time instead of the passing of time. What we do in our lives helps us to expand and become more of who we are. Our experiences create the woven pattern of our beings as long as we take the time to weave the pieces together. Too many of us, have long beautiful pieces that we forget to weave in to our lives. Making sense of what we do…understanding it’s place in our existence and growing as a result happens only when we make it happen. Weaving time is intentional for those of us who care. It is how we grow and change and create new patterns.

And by the way, this blog entry took me way more time to finish than any other I’ve written! And it doesn’t matter to me at all!