Island Life on Phi Phi

I get a big thrill out of seeing the world differently.

Bob is the brother of our neighbour on Gabriola. We met Bob last summer while he was visiting for a few months. Bob lives in Thailand where he runs a business from Phi Phi Island called “Bob’s Booze Cruise”.

If you knew Phi Phi Island, the name “Bob’s Booze Cruise” wouldn’t be so outlandish! Phi Phi Island is small…about 50 km southeast of Phuket. There are several places on the island where you can see limestone mountains with sharp cliffs, and caves that open to long white sandy beaches. The entire island is about: 8 km in length and 3.5 km wide. There are no vehicles on the island. Pushcarts and bicycles help pedestrians get from one place to another. Longboats and ferries travel around the perimeter. I  come to realize that most of the people on the island aren’t old enough to drive anyway! Paul and I were definitely the oldest!

The population on Phi Phi is said to be about 2,000-3,000, but I would say that that number more than triples when you account for the tourists. Once again, it seems that western presence overwhelms that of Native Thais. Restaurants, resorts, entertainment, bars and spas appear overwhelmingly throughout the island. Young travelers (mostly 20-30 year olds) come to Phi Phi for beautiful beaches, lots of alcohol and on-going partying!  Thais serve.

We played with Bob and his Booze Cruise for two days. Monkey Island, cliff jumping, cave touring and checking out 100-year-old wall paintings are all a part of the adventure. I passed on most of the booze, choosing bottled water instead, but, I have to say, I marvelled at the amount of alcohol most young people could consume. In the two days, there were several drunken young people walking off the boat. It was fun though, and really nice to be hosted by our friend, Bob. He liked it too. It was the first time in a long while since he had conversation with someone over the age of 28.

Bob took us scuba diving! I love breathing with the rest of the life underwater. It’s just like communing with a whole different culture. I tune into my breath so completely when I swim, and maintain a rhythm that keeps it comfortable. With SCUBA I know I can stay under water so much longer. I often stop just to ‘fish watch’.

The colours off of Phi Phi Island are subtle. Browns, tans, beiges, dark greens comprise the backdrop of the coral. So much of the sea foliage looks like the same design as the human brain. All shapes and sizes are scattered across the sea floor. Every so often as I swim, I see a spattering of bright colour in the growth. Splashes of violet, or sunshine yellow stand alone sporadically. It reminds me of a Steven Spielberg movie with his splash of bright red against a background of black and white and grey.

Scattered along the floor are these amazing vase like structures, with an exterior of pure purple and the inside an ivory clear surface. Each one I see, I think to myself “who made this? I want to buy one!” But there is no one on the bottom of the sea selling it.  These perfectly square shaped tall receptacles stand solidly on the sea ground appearing as if they are waiting to be filled with fresh cut flowers. Instead, they sit empty, the waves flowing over, with occasional fish investigating what’s inside or maybe even hanging around for a bit of a rest.

Beautiful fish of different sizes and shapes and incredible colours, yellows and purples, solids and stripes travel in schools. I wonder where they’re going and where they’re coming from. They probably wonder the same, as they look back at me, obviously curious at what they see. I stare back with my hands folded comfortably in front of me, a sign that I promise not to touch. I am a tourist in another world once again and I just want to continue to observe……

Koh Lanta

We’ve never been to Thailand! There is a lot about the country for us to learn. We know to begin our trip slowly. So we make our first stop a beach. The islands of Thailand tend to be very touristy and magnets for constant partying. We want quiet, beach time and simplicity. After reading and talking with friends we decide to make our first stop Koh Lanta.

The island of Koh Lanta is a slow, laid back island in the province of Krabi. A one-hour ferry ride from Phi Phi, Koh Lanta has a wild natural ambiance with warm white beaches. The views are spectacular in every direction. Which area of the island you choose will make a difference to the social vibe you’ll experience. Koh Lanta has it all. And it’s a perfect place for recouping energy after grueling travel and recovering from a bad chest infection.

Our home for the week is a basic hut with a thatched roof. The walls are made from tightly woven straw. We are about 200 feet from the water. With restaurants, bars, massage spas and entertainment, there is nothing we lack here! Next door is a very large 5 star resort and spa, the kind that we too, used to stay in when we had 2-3 weeks holiday each year. On the beaches, everybody looks the same.

I’ve been here such a short time, and I’ve been pretty under the weather, but there are several things about Thailand I’m noticing.

The relationship between Muslim and Buddhist cultures here in the south is interesting. The vibe is comfortable and respectful. There is a mix of cultural background, Buddhist, Muslim and Sea Gypsy. Each retains its own practices while living harmoniously side by side. Yesterday when I ordered my eggs, I specifically asked for no bacon. “Bacon!” exclaimed the server. “We are Muslim here. There is no bacon.”  In the next door 5 star resort, Paul and I wander through the grounds and notice the statues of Ganesh and Lakshmi scattered around the area. These are representations of Hindu deities. As we travel further south, a more Native Thai vibe is apparent with fewer and fewer westerners.

Most of the people here, it seems, subsist because of the tourist business. They seem to love what they do and are completely devoted to their jobs. I’m not sure about how I feel when I notice that tourists outnumber residents. There just seems to be something unnatural about one’s country being dominated by ‘guests’. As Paul and I venture out on our scooter, we see that actually, many of the residents earn a living by farming, fishing or working on rubber plantations.      

The topography is wild. Banana, rubber and coconut trees crowd the grounds of the rugged mountains and tropical forests that line the sides of the one road that circles the island. The gravel and sand beaches meet crystal clear warm waters of the Pacific. The ocean offers a perfect swim! Once we get healthy enough, our next stop is Phi Phi Island. Paul and intend to dive there. We hear the coral and sea life is incredibly special and unique!

I am surprised about the absence of spirituality in the atmosphere. People have often said about Thailand, “It’s just like India, but it works”. I thought I knew what that meant, but I don’t anymore. I don’t find it at all like India. Everywhere in India I feel spirit. Here I feel none of it so far. I suppose as we venture away from the islands, ‘real’ living will be more present.

My first thought about coming to Thailand happened a few years ago as I was lying on a beach in British Columbia. I overheard two young teenagers talking. “But what do you do in Thailand?” one of them said to the other. “What do you mean?” her friend answered. “You hang out on the beach and eat Thai food!” Yep….that’s what I’m noticing so far. I’m guessing there’s probably more than that!

Sick in Beauty

How lucky that we have chosen to come to this beautiful island of Koh Lanta for our initiation to Thailand! We’ve both been pretty sick with respiratory infection and we’ve had to take it really slow. Some days I don’t even eat! Imagine sitting in a gorgeous little beach side café in Thailand, holding a menu offering delicious food, and not wanting to order anything!  My recovery has been slow. I’ve been to the doctor twice. Yesterday I finally gave in to prescription drugs. I slept my first full night and the coughing has finally begun to subside.

I think I feel guilty about being on vacation. “Vacation” has always meant, for me, ‘to vacate’, a practice that I needed in my life to allow for stress reduction and relaxation.  My heavy work schedule, busy family life, desires to continue learning, and my commitment to social justice, kept me constantly busy and stressed! Vacation was a necessary remedy for that choice of life style! My life is still full. I love the work I do with teachers and youth. I’m still committed to social justice. My family still takes a lot of my time. I have an array of interests that keep me learning and occupied. I have a rich and colourful social life. I just don’t have the same kind of stress any more! My ‘vacation’ needs have changed.

I’m not used to allowing myself to be sick either. I rarely took off sick days from work, and my kids were hardly ever home from school either. We have been, generally, a very healthy group. This week I’ve taken advantage of the chance to be sick. If we were here for a couple of weeks, I might feel badly, as if I were wasting precious ‘vacation’ time. But I have the luxury of taking this little reprieve and allowing myself to heal.

Paul and I travel a lot during this time of our lives. That might change soon, as we are embarking on building our house on Gabriola. In the meantime, we travel in the winter months. We never think of it as a vacation. It is for us, an opportunity for exploration, learning, and engaging with others, as we experience living in different cultures.

So, what have I been doing? Actually….not much!

Each morning when no on else is awake, I go outside of our thatched hut and walk down the path towards the beach. As I move, the music of nature overwhelms me. Insects of all kinds, unusual birds, each take their turn to express their own life song. They are waking up to a new day too, and joining me as I do the same. The ocean, settles where it meets with the light, soft brown sand. The waves roll in to moisten the ground as the crashing sound finds it’s place in harmony with the rest. I sit quietly on the sand listening each morning, until, Whela, the owner of the café comes for his long working day. We say “Good morning”, and talk a bit about how we each slept and then, as we continue our conversation, we cover the tables with cloths and fasten them each with four clothespins. “Thank you”, he says! It is completely ‘my pleasure’.

I have been reading books faster than I have read since I was teenager! Diana, a friend of mine from Toronto is my book Guru. She sends me 5 book recommendations at a time when I request. I get the books onto my Kindle, and read through them, one by one. I can’t remember the last time I’ve been able to spend a whole day reading books! And I have read such great books since I’ve been away! It’s been fantastic!

I have been too sick to practice Yoga. And my body craves Asana! So I’ve discovered Thai Massage! With an experienced Thai masseuse, Yoga practice is done for me. Kneading, stretching, pulling, pounding, twisting, when my massage is done, I feel as if I have had an hour of asana. Today was the first day I was able to practice in the morning on my own. But I still intend to visit Anha later for my daily Thai massage!

I think we’ll take one more day to recuperate. It’s beautiful here. We now know many of the people and we’re comfortable. What am I doing? Not much! And for now…. that’s just fine!

Just Coming Together in Thailand

The sun streams directly above casting a pink and orange light across the ocean. I watch her gently fall as I lie on the warm soft sand of Long Beach on the island of Koh Lanta. I listen to the evening approach and marvel at the beauty of where I am. I turn to Paul, “Look where we are!” I say. As I begin the sentence he knows what I am going to say and we finish together. It is not the first time we have said this.

We arrived in Thailand 3 days ago. The trip here was not an easy one. Stormy weather in the east prompted cancelled flights and almost prevented me from departure. Perseverance, determination and many patient customer service workers from Expedia made sure I got to where I needed to go. The cost to me was 36 hours in either airports or airplanes over a 48-hour period of time. That was costly! Ridiculous exhaustion, chest congestion and achy body muscles left me feeling too sick to move. 

 

The journey to Thailand is brutal, even without complications. China Eastern Airlines might not be the best way to travel. The service was lacking considerably. For a 12 ½ hour trip we saw the flight attendants for the two meals and a mid flight snack. Other than drinks with the meal, they were invisible unless called upon for help. The P.A. system was ineffective, and the quiet voices and heavy accents made it impossible for me to understand announcements.

I found the stopover in Shanghai a bit oppressive. Even though we weren’t even leaving the airport, we had to go through serious security, and the officers were commanding and abrupt. It began to influence my feelings when I heard Chinese being spoken around me. And the Chinese are a significant presence in Thailand with many visitors and transient residents. With Thailand being a 5 hour flight away and a much better climate during the winter months, many Chinese come here for Winter refuge. It is the East’s ‘Florida’.

Cathay Pacific is my new hero. First of all, they were the only airline flying out of New York during the (supposed) storm. It wasn’t really a storm…just a few dusts of snow and cold temperatures. But New Yorkers are a little wimpy and don’t really know how to deal with unusual weather conditions. Anyway… Cathay Pacific Airlines made the New York – Vancouver leg of their flight to Asia available at the last minute. I happened to catch it when it became available and grabbed a seat. They also offered me a free upgrade to Business Class and I thoroughly enjoyed such comfort for my 5 ½ hour flight home. The service was beautiful. The attendants were pleasant and helpful, and it got me home in time to meet Paul at YVR Airport.

The worst part about the trip is the way it left me feeling. Ridiculous exhaustion was only exacerbated by extreme congestion in my chest. The coughing kept me (and Paul) awake day and night and I probably hurt my muscles just from the intensity of the action. I just couldn’t overcome jetlag! So yesterday I went to a local doctor. She assured me there was no infection, gave me a prescription for antibiotic just in case it didn’t improve, and directed me to nearest pharmacy to purchase a natural cough medicine.

Today I am on the repair. Breakfast was my first meal since I arrived…the first time I actually felt hungry!

When my United Airlines flight got cancelled in the onset of my journey, my friend Sandy said, “Everything’s going to come together”.

As I watch the sun setting this evening and I am comforted by the warmth of the sand under me, I know I have finally arrived. Yes Sandy… everything does always come together somehow!

Happy New Year- 2014

The barking from across the ocean lets me know the sunrise is soon. Our friend tells us that sea lions know when the sunrise is coming and they get even more excited when it’s going to be a beauty!

This morning the sea lions call loudly. The cacophony from across the ocean wakes us early. From our bed inside the yurt we hear them clearly. The nights are long now.  The darkness of night still lingers at 7:30. If we move, we know we’ll get to the point in time to watch the rising of the sun! Pouring our coffee in our travelling cups we walk the 5 minutes through the woods to Drumbeg Park.

It’s early, and, it’s worth it. The sun peeks her way up over the mountains and soon there’s a stream of light across the water. Together we talk about the wonder of our universe as it revolves around the sun. We are moving, all the time, and we are exposed to different views along the way.  It inspires me.

The new year begins this week. 2014 looms! There are so many exciting changes ahead of me.

We leave for Thailand next week after a brief solo visit to NY to see my mom. Thailand is a place we’ve never been to, and the prospect of tapping into new culture is exciting! We have many plans to visit friends, scuba dive, practice Yoga, eat good food and learn. We’ll finish our trip in India to visit friends and be in the places we love. We return to Gabriola in spring just in time for planting our gardens.

Paul and I are building our house on Gabriola. After living in tents, then our yurt, and existing mostly outside, we’ve decided to build a house with real walls and a more obvious separation from the outdoors. Our friends, who are accomplished builders, are the primary builders. Paul and I intend to help. So far the planning and dreaming process has brought us all closer together. In November, the process begins for real.

I will be in my 60^th of life during 2014! For me that inspires deep reflection and contemplation. I look forward to creating new ways of getting out there in my world. I intend to be the best ’60 year old’ person that I can be! This coming year gives me time to reflect and plan for that. I see big changes in my future. A desire to ‘nest’, spend time with my family, and cultivate the creative essence of who I am, are all plans for this coming year.

I continue to recreate myself in my work. As I plan on being here continuously through the year, I can accept more ‘permanent’ positions. Creating a learning community for a full year is different from dropping in for a few days. I look forward to cultivating long term relationships with groups of teachers and with young people in various learning environments. And I want my work to continue to enhance the lives of others.

I have committed to a nine-month intensive Yoga programme on the island. Regular retreats and weekly classes of focussed practice are ways for me to more thoroughly integrate Yoga into my life. Working with Flo will enhance my own practice and also give me the confidence to share what I know with others. By the summer months I want to be teaching two separate classes. One of them will be for older women and the other for people who might benefit from simple practice and the understanding of how Yoga can fit easily into their lives.

This year I want to be physically healthy and strong. That means focussing more on what I eat, and trying not to eat (and drink) some things. I want to remain active and concentrate on turning 60 gracefully and strong. Yoga, running, bicycling, weight bearing exercises are all activities I want to enhance in my life.

Travel will be different this year. Shorter trips perhaps more often. We’re planning to take trips with our kids and meet up with friends in different places of the world. My ‘nesting’ desire leads me to want to be close. I also want to go to places I’ve never been! And I want to explore the world with my best friend and husband, Paul.

I find myself in a place in my life, where I think “It can’t get better than this”! I have the most wonderful partnership in marriage than I could even have asked for. My children are all happy, self-sufficient and loving. I have close friends in so many places who welcome me and love me and with whom I share many adventures. I have good work to do. I live in a most spectacular place.

I have everything material that I could possibly want. On the one hand 2014 can’t get better than this! On the other…..anything is possible. Anything is possible!

To all….may your year also bring joy, adventure, love, growth and good health! Happy 2014!

Pondering the Christmas Spirit

Bah Humbug! 

It’s not that I don’t like holiday time. How can I not! People generally seem more joyful, more considerate, more generous, and caring. Shopping for gifts, being influenced to think about others’ desires are all ways for us to practise the ‘giving spirit’. Colourful lights sparkling sporadically as we drive down the streets. Twinkling charms that beckon us to come together, share hot soup, sing in song, join in celebration of life.

It’s not that I don’t like holiday time! I just frustrate about the fact that we can’t be like this with each other all the time.

It’s like my distaste for Mother’s Day. I discourage gift giving and special treatment from my kids on Mother’s Day. I want them to practise that respect on other days of the year too. Not just one! And I don’t want only one day of the year when we spend time together! Why wait for public pressure to express love for mom!!!

And Valentine’s Day! Is that the one day of the year that we openly express love for lovers and friends? We could do that every day, and it feels so good to share that love! Imagine... sending a card to someone you care for just for appreciation for another day of being able to love them! Or receiving a delicious box of chocolates in June, just because you are loved and cared about!

Thanksgiving Day can be a bit wearisome too. Is there only one day of the year when we sit down together with family and friends and give thanks for all that the world has to offer us? I think not! We could only benefit by doing that everyday!

I suppose, on the one hand, if we don’t have these holidays that help us ‘model’ how to appreciate our lives, many of us would never have the practice. Highlighting days that remind us to show thoughtfulness and gratitude and expressions of love for people in our lives, is a little like taking an exam. The purpose of an exam is to show what we know. Sometimes we cram for the exam, making sure we regurgitate the content to satisfy the system. Sometimes we learn for the exam, and the content becomes completely integrated into our lives. When that happens, exam taking is easy. We know how to do it. It becomes innate to our being and practising what we learned becomes more authentic. The content becomes integrated.

Sometimes though, we 'cram' and our objective is simply to pass the exam. We put effort in to getting the answers right, sometimes without really learning the material. We pass the exam all right, but, do we really understand the content? Have we really learned what the exam set out to test in the first place? Does giving the ‘perfect gift’ on Christmas provide enough depth to continue to give even when the holiday isn’t here?

I want to live in a world where practising appreciation and caring happens every day. I want to be able to pass any ‘pop quiz’ that comes my way, and be ready to achieve passing grades in life at any given time!

Bah humbug? Not really! Just Happy Holidays to all and sincere hopes that we can share love and joy together and make each day a special holy day.

Thank You Eric!

There’s nothing new! My undergraduate degree from university was in English Literature with a minor in Psychology. I was, even then, aware of the infancy of the science of Psychology at that time. Although there were several theorists with ideas about psychological development, there was still uncertainty and confusion about what is ‘normal’ and what is ‘deviant’ behaviour.

I remember learning at that time about Eric Erikson’s theory of The Eight Ages of Man, a structural theory of human development that is based on generalization and age appropriate expectations. Even then, I was leery about those generalizations and questioned the authenticity of the stages. As I grew and continued my studies in education and child development, I began to understand that these generalizations provide a basic framework for understanding and not a definitive structure. Instead they allow for a context for emotional and psychological growth within one’s own social environment. Throughout my life so far, I have referred to Erikson’s theory to help me ground myself in ‘normal’ and help me understand my self in relation to the world around me.

Today, as I hike through the mountains of Ojai in California, I ponder the idea:  “What am I really doing in this lifetime?” As change becomes the only constant in my life I continue to question what I’m doing. Once again, I find solace in his theory.

Next month I turn 59 years old. That means I will be in my 60^th year of life. I have raised 7 incredible human beings and continue to be involved in each of their lives. I have forged an incredible career in education and continue to share my experiences and expertise with youth and educators all over the world. I am socially conscious and actively involved in trying to make our world a better place. In Hebrew we call that ‘Tikkun Olam’ - repairing the world. I am grateful for my life thus far and excited about exploring further, learning more, expanding my own possibilities and remaining aware of how to help our younger people develop a sense of efficacy and a realistic approach to possible changes to address.

For each stage of development, Erikson provides two possibilities for age acquisition. (For the complete explanation of the eight ages, check out Erikson’s (1959) theory of psychosocial development). Basically, Erikson suggests that at each stage, there is possibility for crisis or for healthy development.

1.  TRUST VS. MISTRUST (BIRTH- 18 MONTHS)                                              5.   IDENTITY VS. ROLE CONFUSION (12- 17 YEARS)
2.   AUTONOMY VS. SHAME AND DOUBT (18 MONTHS - 3 YEARS)                   6.   INTIMACY VS. ISOLATION  (17- 35 YEARS)
3.   INITIATIVE VS. GUILT (3 - 5 YEARS)                                                       7.   GENERATIVITY VS. STAGNATION (35- 65 YEARS)
4.   INDUSTRY VS. INFERIORITY (5 -12 YEARS)                                             8.   INTEGRITY VS. DESPAIR (65 - DEATH)

Ideally, individuals who live through this 7^th stage with a sense of generativity, find it easier to transition into the last stage (Integrity vs. Despair) with a strong sense of achievement and satisfaction about accomplishments and progress.  Appreciation and gratitude help us feel a sense of satisfaction, even a sense of completion. “I have lived a good life. I have done well. I am satisfied.” Alternatively, if a person is not finding contentment in these years, the final stage leads to a sense of regret and despair.For me, at this point, I focus on my current stage of development. The second stage of adulthood (ages 35-64) Erikson calls Generativity vs. Stagnation. These are the years of concentration on career development and immersion in our work world. It is the time to give back to our society and help improve the world through vocation and healthy life style choices. It is also, for many, the time for family creating, giving birth to and growing up children to be strong, happy and independent human beings. Marriage, family, social life and work provide the social structure that guides our world during these years. All of this gives a sense of purpose.

One thing I’m very aware about is that I am undoubtedly in the 7^th stage of the eight ages identified! In fact, more modern theorists even suggest that the stage of Generativity vs. Stagnation actually finishes at 55 years old. That’s an amazing realization for me… am I that old? At the same time, I’m okay with that. I feel healthy and strong. I remain excited and curious about my immediate world. I am full of love for most of those people around me. I am still often awe struck by my natural (and often unnatural) surroundings. I want to find love where I am, seek inner strength when necessary, and maintain good health. I want to have a sense of worth always, and nurture my desire to help others. In fact, I want to keep doing and being all of those things, right through the end of my life! I want to continue to feel positive about living and maintain a wholesome place in this world. And if and when that stops, I think I’ll be ready. But, for now, I think I’ll just get ready for my next adventure.