Being Here...Right Now

 “There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” 
                                                                                (Dalai Lama XIV)

Last week we turned our clocks an hour ahead. That’s because we’re supposed to ‘spring forward’. That also means Spring is a coming! Wow!!! That means we’ve just been through Winter!

This winter was different for us! We didn’t travel as we usually do during the winter months. This winter there were so many life events that necessitated my complete presence. My mother’s passing in November occupied three weeks of my attention. For me, supporting my mother as she passed changed my own life. I found during those 12 days of being in the hospital with her offered me a welcomed experience in being completely present. No plans, no expectations, no momentum meant that I was able to remain with her responding to what ever happened next. I put all other aspects of my life aside, even the birth of our third grandchild who was born in Toronto on the second day of my vigil with mom.

I became so acutely aware of the experience of being present. One of my Yoga teachers over the years helped me tune into the fact that ‘our body remembers’. “Have you ever done a headstand before”? she asked me. “Yes,” I answered. “When I was younger.” “Oh good!” said Judith. “Don’t worry then. The body remembers.” And it did. All I had to do is settle in to the body memory.

So, more and more I am noticing similar feelings, and realizing how simple it is to settle in to my daily experiences without planning for the future or thinking about the past. I am learning that, when in my own space, I am the only one who notices! For me, lately, there is comfort in feeling unnoticed and just a little overlooked. Recently someone said “This island is so small. It’s hard to hide.” I think differently. I am often able to find solitude and peace. I just stay at home and settle in. If I am really ‘needed’, people know how to find me either by phone or messaging. Otherwise…the world carries on and I recharge, replenish and strengthen. No one notices, and though I still feel love, I am left alone.

The real challenge for me is finding and sustaining love for my self. When I look inside lately, often what I find is an empty pit. I’ve been hammered these last few months with life’s lessons. I use my Yoga breath to heal and soothe, dissipating the dark clouds of the pit and creating clarity and brightness again. Finding the possibility to be here right now allows me to consider yesterday and perhaps even plan for tomorrow and at the same time, revel in the presence of my now.

Which Body of Water Are You Most Like?

It’s raining still. The heavenly water flows from the skies. It fills us up and nourishes our earth and, ultimately, our bodies. It is God’s way of sharing the richness of heaven with our bountiful earth.

The river constantly flows. The waters rhythmically crash against the paths that have been naturally molded to contain the waters within and direct the flow. Nothing can stop the movement. The waters just flow. Only draught sucks the life energy from the earth and dries up the living cells. 

The ocean is infinite. I’m not infinite. So, I suppose I’m not like the ocean. The ocean is playful and enticing! There’s a whole different world under the ocean with diverse life and vibrant activity. Exploring beneath the ocean is rich and exciting, and even sometimes scary.  It’s a little like being on Mars.

Ponds just sit there! It’s a nice place for little animals to gather. I suppose birds might choose to land in a pond, but, I think it’s mostly a place for frogs and worms and even leeches. It sits so still that the surface becomes scummy and I step back, preferring to just look.. The floor is mushy and warm and just doesn’t feel welcoming. Nah….I’m not a pond, and anyway, I really don’t like leeches!

I am most like the rain. I come and go with anticipation and resignation. I feed the earth and hydrate life. I make sounds in the hollow of the trees and fill the oceans, rivers, steams and lakes. I am the source of all water! I can be very, very powerful and, I suppose, sometimes annoying and powerless.

It’s raining still.  That’s good. I can always depend on the rains that God offers. And, thankfully, it’s raining still!