The Little Girl Inside

My little girl

There’s a little girl deep inside of me. I know her well though we’ve not really spoken until now. I’ve seen her photograph periodically. I’ve never seen her smile. I recognize her though we’ve never met. I’ve heard her voice whispering to me over the years. She’s mostly afraid, demure and very lonely.

I am just now beginning to seek out the little girl inside of me and reassure her. It is important to let her know she is loved and cared about notwithstanding any imperfections she might have. I can do that. I’m the only one who can. She stays back still, unsure and insecure. But I persevere and continue to reassure her.

My dear friend, Naomi recently turned me on to the Japanese concept of Wabi-Sabi, the culturally acceptable idea that beauty is imperfect, impermanent, and ultimately incomplete. In essence, Wabi-Sabi is the art of imperfection.

Teenager me

Aren’t we all like that? Those of us who search below the surface of our daily lives digging into deeper territory, making sense of our existence, thinking (sometimes too much) about ways to improve our world, can only remain happy if we embrace the ‘Wabi-Sabi ness of life. We are each…every one of us on a journey of exploration, inquiry, self-reflection, and growth. And satisfaction can be realized once we accept our limitations. We remain…always…seeking!

For me, right now, appreciating wabi-sabi in my life simply means quieting my mind, becoming more present in my natural surroundings and opening up to accept things as they are instead of trying to change them. This depends on my ability to slow down, allow my self to ‘be’ rather than ‘do’, and lovingly embrace my fears with openness and compassion.

Years ago I participated in a workshop for “Landscape Design”. I saw various photos of garden beauty, heard about examples of what to do to create an accessible and practical garden, and was inspired about the abundant possibilities of how to make our land, in her natural essence, more beautiful and workable. And…the most important lesson I learned during that workshop is to remember how valuable it is to know when to sit back and enjoy your garden! I envision sitting back on a comfortable chair, at the end of the day, the sun is setting and the air is cool. I’m happy, and the weeds I see are part of the beauty. I don’t need to get up to pull them. Things are just the way they are…and that’s good!

At sixty I am meeting that imperfect child. I am realizing the losses that she felt and the mistakes that she made, as a child and even as a young adult and mother. I have to say, the journey, so far, has been adventurous and wild and I love the person who she has become. It’s wabi-sabi…loving the uniqueness and exceptionality of the life she has created. Now it’s time to enjoy her in all her imperfect beauty.