“There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person
would be in the lunatic asylum.”, says Carl Jung whose contributions as
psychologist, writer and philosopher, inspired the creation of the Myers- Briggs
Type Indicator.
The
dictionary on my computer defines introvert
as ‘a shy person’. I think that’s ridiculous. The word ‘shy’ is in the same
category as ‘lazy’, and ‘guilty’.
These ‘feeling’ words don’t really get to the crux of the feeling. A person who
feels ‘guilty’ doesn’t really feel guilty. He/she might feel deficient or inadequate or even responsible.
We don’t feel guilty. We either are
or are not guilty. It is the same with shy.
Why
would a person choose not to
socialize? That’s the real question! Fear, humiliation, possibility of failure,
rejection, shame, panic are feelings that could underlie “shy”.
Each
of us has the ability to behave as an introvert and as an extravert. We need not chose between one or the other. We
can find comfort in being both! Our behaviours, ultimately, are influenced too,
by our past experiences, even as far back as our birth.
I
am beginning to recognize the vastness of my own potential as a human being.
People tell me I am a social being….that I am friendly, amiable, cooperative,
interactive, compassionate, …..essentially, an extravert! And I am all that, I
believe!
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| And there's me, in a crowd...introverting |
Much
of my life is about circumventing conflict and creating fun and significant relationships.
Whether it’s familial interaction, marital communication, developing teacher-
student rapport, or establishing supportive and caring relationships with community,
I know I have skill in making relationships work.
Lately
I am noticing how much I appreciate my solitary quiet time. I have come to take
great comfort in being alone. Over the years (60 of them) I have had much
practice in self-reflection. There,
I find solace, comfort, patience, and a springboard for compassionate action.
Through meditation, my journey for self inspires me to find responsible and thorough
solutions to the questions that arise in my life.
I
am loving my solitary life as much as I appreciate my active involved presence!
I am, after all, an introvert! I revel in my extensive bike rides down the
winding, hilly roads and the lush, aromatic forests of our island. My Yoga practise
is solitary even when I practise with others. With my eyes closed I am present to
my self. I find quiet comfort in time spent reading, writing, watching,
walking, and swimming. I smile as I plant those miraculous tiny seeds in the
garden or trot gently on the dirt roads as I jog. All this I do alone!
And
yet, typically, as aligns with the characteristics of an extravert, my motives
and actions are directed outward. I am more apt to act than to contemplate an action. I am a pretty
friendly person, even to unknown people, and I usually am engaged and energized
by social situations. I have many friends, close family relations and my work
totally involves being with and talking with others. But none of this means I
don’t also experience the exact opposite for each.
I
am an introvert and I am also an extravert! And everything in between! Towards
my ongoing pursuit of happiness, I might feel a certain disposition one day,
and react to it so differently another day. The polarity of who I am gives me
more potential to be more of who I want to be. I can be it all….any time
and always. I can avoid the labels and avoid any predisposition for choosing
one over the other.
I have come to realize that we each have
the potential to exhibit behaviours that would characterize either an
introverted or extroverted personality. We can love to spend time with people
and still tire of it after a while. We can easily do things alone and, if we are
spending too much time alone we can be sucked into depression or unproductive
moods. We can love to purposefully interact and our conversations can be
energetic and animated, or mellow and quiet.
Processing information both externally
and internally makes for an easier experience. Being able to respond to life
independently as well as being comfortable asking for help makes living easier.
Enjoying access to diverse knowledge and engaging in many different activities can
be as gratifying as focusing exclusively on one skill.
I like the way Jung puts it. He says
that intoverts recharge by spending time alone, and extraverts gain energy from
other people. They recharge by being social. He says that most of us are ambiverts…
a balance between the introvert and the extrovert.
That makes sense to me and also validates
the magnitude of peoples’ behaviours. We don’t need to be labeled or defined.
We are free to grow and expand and become more balanced and whole and to honour
the spirit in each of us……”Namaste”!
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| That's me....extraverting |
