Thursday, November 8, 2012

Joyce, Oscar and Life Cycle Reality


Today is the yarzheit (memorial) of my dear friend Joyce. I look at her picture and I feel close…. so close.

Joyce was a wild woman! She laughed hysterically at times, and at other times settled into serious, sad conversations. She smoked cigarettes, drank a lot of alcohol, revelled in good food, good drink and just loved being with people she cared about. She cared about so many. Family was the most important part of her life, and so many people felt like ‘family’.

Joyce Daniels was my good friend. I met her while travelling in Trinidad in 1985.  I was there as a gift from another friend as payment for helping him get his resort established there. I did all the hiring for the resort from Toronto. The resort didn’t last very long. It was one of those places that looked spectacular from the pictures, and when you arrived it was actually a run down, cockroach infested place, with dirty swimming pools and not enough food at the buffet (all you can eat) kitchen.

Joyce chose that ‘all inclusive’ resort for herself and her family: Richard, her partner, and 3 kids, two daughters from her first marriage and one son from Richard’s. Though they had loads of money, Joyce was always open for a bargain, and as a travel agent and avid traveller she chose Trinidad as an adventure for that winter break. It was a big mistake from a comfort point of view, but I think we both agreed, we found each other via that experience. It was worth it.

At the time, Joyce and Rich were living together, not yet married. They were in the midst of the challenges of blending a family of children from previous marriages. They did so consciously and mindfully. They had money, which made travel and general living just a bit easier. Prior to meeting Richard, Joyce struggled to make ends meet. She was a teacher like I, working in the inner city schools in special needs, and immersing herself in the life issues of so many youth. I was a beginner teacher at the time, learning how to engage and still stay balanced.

I was a single parent of two young teen aged boys at the time, struggling with money, trying to keep my head above the proverbial waters, and still maintaining some sort of comfortable life for my boys.

She was smart too, delving into areas of realization that few others in my life would dare to go. Conversations about sex, childrearing, money challenges ... Joyce listened to me through my divorce, change of jobs, and varying ventures in my own life. She counselled, advised, encouraged and loved me unconditionally, and was there to share the love I eventually attained in my own life. My life, not so coincidentally, in many ways mirrored her life. Blending family, travelling extensively, absorbed in teaching, living alternatively, I feel the soul connection deeply.

Joyce was fun! Her laissez faire attitude towards life kept her smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and supported her desire to experiment and explore. With a conniving twinkle in her eye she would say, “Come on. Let’s just try this once.” She played hard that girl.

And, in her harsh, rough voice she would yell out “Asshole! What the fuck do you want from me?” She was crass and loud and involved and aware. She was curious and involved and, in a special way exhibited her New York self-absorbed attitude.

I flew to New York from Toronto to attend Joyce’s funeral, say good-bye to my dear friend and to comfort and be comforted by other friends and family there. It was an important time for me to connect with others who loved Joyce as I did. She has so many dear friends and an exceptionally closely-knit family. On my way home, while waiting to board my plane back to Toronto, my grandson Oscar was born.  How beautiful, I thought. My grandson enters this world as my loving and cherished friend leaves it. Oscar…may you have the depth of character, joy for life, and love for people that Joyce experienced in her life. May you dance, laugh, sing, work hard and play. May you love unconditionally, feel deeply, learn and explore as intensely. And, too, dear Oscar, may you have the love of life that my dear friend, Joyce Daniel left with us. Happy Birthday!



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