Gurukala, This Time Around

The breeze flows gently through the trees as I lie in savasana this morning. It’s quiet. No one stirs around me. An occasional car horn sounds from the road a mere 200 feet through the trees. Though the sound of rubber on the roads is constant, the brush hides passersby from my vision. Empty branches provide camouflage although occasionally a shiny flash from a cyclist’s helmet speeds by. Other than that, the road is invisible. So am I.

The Gurukula is sleeping this morning, most people exhausted from yesterday’s Pooja celebration.  The annual event has traditionally been an opportunity to give back to the villagers of Kagliapura for all that they do for the Gurukala all year. Using the Guru’s birthday as an excuse to celebrate, family members and friends of the Gurukala gather to cook and decorate and entertain community. It is a joyful day for prayer, learning, celebration and sharing a meal together.

In preparation, we put up tents all over the land to accommodate those guests who ch0ose to sleep over. Cooking happens throughout the night in outside kitchens temporarily erected for the purpose. There are cooking jobs for anyone who wants to participate. Our plan is to serve 150 guests during the afternoon. Ravi, the chief chef and Mah’s son-in-law, is our ‘fearless leader’ - planning, shopping, delegating, cooking and serving the bunch. Music plays into the wee hours and is there to welcome the sun in the morning, with delicious breakfast and then lunch.

Curries, rice dishes, an array of fresh vegetables, chutneys, papadam and salads leave no body hungry! Sweet paisam finishes off any cravings one might have. Lined up against the walls of the prayer hall, people come to eat from banana leave plates and drink water from paper cups. It is a full day of friendship, interaction and party. Not every day is like that at The Gurukula.

It’s a very special place here. Somehow I get lost in the experience of gathering with others to create sacred space for cooperative celebration. Here, extended family and friends share a vision of communal living and giving back to the universe. People who thrive together working towards a better world care about their own wellbeing as well as that of others in the community, and ultimately for the greater world.

Guru Muni and me

Gurukula is a place where people come to pray and learn. The leader, Guru Muni lives in Varkala and visits our small Gurukala outside of Bangalore at least once a year. At 76 years old, Guru Muni is a sweet man who jovially shares his ideas with others. I have heard recently someone describing his road to enlightenment as being a bond created between himself and his Guru. Kind words with a gentle humility, Guru shares his teaching with excitement and joy that makes listening to him wonderful, even if, sometimes, we don’t share the same ideas.

Something happens to me at Gurukula. I lose myself when I’m here, and yet I find myself at the same time. Like Alice falling down the rabbit hole, I feel a sense of unencumbered freedom that inspires my daily activity.

Mah and me

Perhaps it is my relationship with the Gurukula Mother, Mah. Over the years, we have become extremely close. Ours is a beautiful example of when “East meets West”. Mah is deeply learned and a spiritual seeking soul. She lives simply, and peacefully seeking calm within the geographic limitation established by the Gurukala and by India in general. Only recently, since having been granted Sennyasa, has she ventured from her physical roots to learn more about her world.

And then there’s me. I too seek spiritual clarity and embrace deeper ways of learning about the world around me. My western background and specific skills drive my expression in ways so different from Mah. And, yet, she and I understand each other and respect the traditions by which each of us expresses our selves. When Mah and I get together, Manju, her youngest daughters laughs warningly and says…”Watch out India! Here they come!” Both Mah and I feel blessed with what we share together.

As I lie in Savasana this morning I settle in and ground myself to the earth. I mindfully embrace the pure essence of Gurukula with all it provides for me. I hope I can continue to share that essence with all those I love everywhere in this wonderful world and to bring the best practices together in the beauty of meeting East with West.

Finding Peace Once More

On April 14, 2014 my front tooth completely cracked. It created a dental emergency just hours before the first seder of Passover was to begin in our home. We were hosting 16  guests. Frantic, without a dentist in BC (my dentist for the past five years has been in India) I quickly found an emergency clinic that would take me immediately and at least temporarily, repair the damage.

Two more broken teeth, a broken metacarpal bone in my right hand, and the anxiety of turning 60 have thrown me physically and spiritually into a state of havoc. This confusion is only amplified by the awareness that several close and very dear friends are experiencing effects of disease and each is struggling with their very survival.

 

Events worldwide have been destructive.  Predominating are episodes of terrorism, misogyny, racism, general disregard for humanity.  There seems to be a total disrespect for our environment in the pursuit of money, and a general loss of hope fills our world. I take these things on, no doubt, absorbing them into my soul!

Distraction and disorder make it difficult for me to focus. Seeking the ‘good’ becomes too demanding, and trying to maintain positivity and peace is exhausting. I know what I need to do, and I struggle with the effort.

My mind is constantly busy. My attempts at meditation have been frustrating and I just can’t seem to slow my thoughts! I’m looking for the place of peace I know is within.

I know. I know. “Focus on your breath.” “Act as an observer of your thoughts.” “Create a mantra for redirecting prana.” These are the words I teach! So why am I struggling so hard to model these ideas?

Here, now, in India, I revisit where I need to be:

Yoga means Unity. When I am practising Yoga, I feel in total harmony with my surroundings. I am able to watch the clouds floating above me. At times I feel myself within the clouds, totally engaged with their movement. And sometimes I even feel higher than the clouds. It’s a little like being in Heaven!

My Yoga practice this week has been fulfilling. “The body remembers,” one of my Yoga teachers reminds me often. Once I’ve found something wonderful, I can always find it again!

My children used to tell me I think too much. Nothing comes easily. Everything becomes an issue and I’m always “on”. I think they are right. Someone once told me I have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. I suppose if I stopped thinking, I might not care so much.

Yoga teaches me to ‘focus on my own practice’. My Yoga practice is personal. It is mine and, with some direction, I lose myself in bliss. During my practice I mostly keep my eyes shut. It allows me to go within and focus on my breath and what my body tells me it needs. I function from that place of inner knowing whenever I can.

At the same time… I am a teacher. Sometimes I can’t help it! If I see someone doing something harmful, it’s a struggle for me to hold back. I sometimes ask myself, “How can I keep my eyes closed to what’s happening around me?” I am, in fact, my brothers’ and sisters’ keeper. I feel compelled to help those around me, especially when I am feeling strong and able. Balance is critical, between focussing on my own practice and taking care of others.

I have a deep inner sense that I am growing out of the depths of this past year. Symbolically, I am in India for healing. I am here to have dental implants put in and to bring the condition of my mouth to a state of good health. Ayurvedic medicine provides massage and treatment to heal my body mindfully. I am immersed in Yoga and reintroducing myself to my self, where I feel comfortable and good and strong. I am intentionally reflecting on those things in my life that no longer serve me and focussing on the beauty and good that is with me and will thrive with my attention.

I am seeing that proverbial “light” more clearly now and know better how to move towards it. My 60^th birthday has passed, I am reuniting with India and gathering from the source of power she offers me. As of last night, all the teeth that required extraction, are gone. No more ambiguity. My personal relationships are strong, and, if they’re not, I know better how to assess whether to fix them or just leave them behind (like I’ll do with my teeth). I have learned powerful lessons from my healing crisis, and know that I will emerge renewed and more at peace as a result.  I feel eternally grateful!

Building Our 'Home'

We’re building a house!  It’s a group effort, really! Our friends Huguette and Mark are the builders. 

Before the Pour

They do everything. We try to help. Sometimes that means staying away! And sometimes we are invited to get our fingers into the process!

I knew this process was going to be a joy, when, the first time we talked about the house, Mark said to me, “When you’re drinking your coffee in the morning, and you’re all alone, what do you want to be looking at from your window?” The designing of the house has been the same ever since. We had regular meetings over the last year, with meals, drinks, casual and still formal, hashing out ideas and, together, implementing them into the design.

We watch as the footprint of our home becomes evident. First step is carefully deciding which trees need to be cut in order to create space. We approach this task with a great deal of care, having real conversations with each of the trees chosen, apologizing for disrupting their lives and promising to use them all, in some way, in the creation of our home. Stacked in anticipation of becoming our floors, ceilings and walls, the trees now are sitting comfortably drying and waiting to be prepared for such purpose.

The dig begins and what we find underground helps determine possibilities. Gabriola’s nickname, “The Rock” is obvious as we begin to make room. On that rock will exist our crawl space and our house is starting to emerge. With Paul and myself in India we leave the concrete pour completely to Huguette and Mark. We suggest placing tangible items in the concrete to include meaning and concepts that are less physical and just as important.

“Huummmm…. that’s interesting!” I think! I like this!

And so, I begin my journey of self-reflection. “What are the elements I want to embed in the structure of our home? What is important to us? What do we want to perpetuate, conceptually, in the world, even after our physical presence is no longer?

Tomorrow the concrete will be poured. The walls of our house will be erected and the foundation on which our shelter stands will be established. Along with the actual materials needed for a solid, stable structure, our house will also be built upon the following forces, each represented by a symbol for it’s meaning:

1-            A wooden spoon represents Family and Sustenance. Our family gathered most of the time in the kitchen. We made our food together, for the most part. Each child learned to cook in his/her own way and each one felt a sense of responsibility for our meals. Although I was generally ‘in charge’, everybody participated. I remember when I actually realized that. One day on our way home from school after picking up each of the kids, one of them got into the car and said. “What are we making for dinner tonight?” I knew then, that we had some good teamwork going on!

2-            A candle for light embodies our family’s weekly ritual for welcoming the Shabbat, providing for a day of rest, shedding light on our week to come and giving voice to the gratitude we all shared. Our Judaism is solidly based in the ideas of Tikkun Olam, repairing the Universe, and we tried hard to teach our children to live a conscious life where we are, in fact “our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers.

Included in the Concrete....

3-            One plastic earring-            One Sunday evening, my then 7 year old step daughter, Julia, comes running into the house after spending a weekend at her ‘other’ home. She had gone to garage sales that weekend and she excitedly came to our house with a present for me. Knowing how much I loved earrings, she had bought me a funky pair of rubber and plastic earrings made of turquoise and yellow, beige and black geometric shapes. I loved those earrings because of their simplicity and the complexity of its intention. May our house always be full of the gift of giving and the joy of receiving.

4-            A photograph of my oldest friend and myself represents long lasting friendships. I feel blessed to have so many special friendships in my life. Sustaining communication is sometime challenging and the benefits are so worth the task! May our house be filled with friendships…all kinds…. new and long time ones, and may the people who live in our house never feel alone!

5-            I’ve represented Love with a handkerchief!  My husband, Paul is the only person I know of my generation who still uses a handkerchief every day! May our new house be filled always with the kind of love that Paul and I share. May on-going communication, thoughtfulness, understanding, and passion thrive here, and may the occupants continue to dream big always.

6-            The Sanskrit symbol of “ohm” is the primordial sound that vibrates through our bodies when we chant. It is the visual representation of universal wholeness and a reminder of the worldly possibilities. For me, it is “home” unencumbered by walls and roofs and a reminder of the boundlessness in one’s own potential. I pray that anyone who enters this house will feel at “home’ within.

And may it all be so…

Biennale Inspiration

In 2012, Fort Kochi hosted it’s first Biennale Art Exhibition. Spanning the entire region of 

Kochi, hundreds of artists, Indian and international, display their works in buildings, on street corners, in parks, and cafes. Multi media and numerous sensory expressions could be found everywhere. Paul and I loved the one price ticket that allowed us to go in and out of displays all over the city.

This year, Biennale has returned and we, once again, are experiencing the vast array of artistic offerings by artists .Some of what we see is particularly unique and inspiring. Some can be (at least from my perspective) somewhat silly and self-indulgent. Yesterday I wandered through an inviting park, especially designed by Valsan Koorma Kolleri for Biennale attendees. Alone for almost an hour, I sat on a rock and wrote…

There’s a place I used to know. I found it today. I used to play here!

There are various shades of green scattered on the earth. The palms reach tall and the tree trunks spread outwards. Their branches provide playgrounds for the birds.

I played here long ago. The swing still dangles lopsided from a rope on a nearby tree, even now. The fallen woods pile high and the brittle leaves make crunching sounds as I walk.

Crows laugh. They don’t remember long ago. They never played here. But I did!

I used to play here! I cartwheeled through the heaps of composted soil. I hid under giant stones that were left alone to settle. I sat quietly and still as the ants crawled on my naked skin and the gentleness of the breeze swooshed them away.

I listened to the crows as they laughed at me until I became familiar. And then, we laughed together.

I clambered up ropes left behind by the fisherman and smelled the tastes of the sea.

I got lost in the luxurious bushes and looped my way around until finally I found my way.

I found my way…the place where I used to play.

P.P.T.- Person/Place/Thing

Making decisions can be challenging, especially ones that we think are life setting. That’s why when one of our daughters completed her undergraduate degree in Montreal, I responded strategically to her query. “What am I going to do now?” she asked. “I don’t really know what I want to happen in my life.”

A preconception for me in working with people, is the belief that each one of us has the information we need to make healthy and good decisions. Helping others, I’ve found, is best practised by first realizing that withholding suggestions validates the other person’s awareness. Recognizing that each of us needs to use our own resources is essential. Asking the right questions, therefore, inspires others to self reflect. Sometimes information we already have becomes overwhelming and confusing. It simply needs to be organized differently. This tool is meant to organize information.

Shira was confused.

“Well”, I responded, “What’s the most important thing for you right now? Is it person, place or thing?”

From that point I created an organizational tool for decision making that I have found very helpful over the years and I’ve used it in many different situations for coaching others.

Bliss

The way it works is simple. First is an understanding that all three components are important, and at different times in our life, the priority shifts.

For instance, when I became old enough to make my own decisions and left home, I was 14 years old. At that time in my life place was the most important thing. I wanted to live in Israel, on a kibbutz, so I could farm fresh food and live in a communal environment where people took care of each other and created healthy cooperative living. I also escaped the United States at a time of war. Richard Nixon was President. The U.S. was heavily into Viet Nam. My brothers were both eligible for the army, and both of them could be deferred because we had enough resources to ‘get them out’. I was uncomfortable, even then, with the inequity of that situation, where those with enough resources could escape the draft, while most could not. I lived in dark, heavy, dirty New York City and craved the lightness and brightness of nature.

 I also needed to go to school, so thing became the next priority. Instead of a kibbutz, I found a ‘mosad’ - a boarding school environment in Israel that focussed first on school and second on agriculture. There I finished High School, acquiring American qualifications that would enable me to complete post secondary education and acquire teacher certification. At that time people didn’t rate at all since I didn’t know anyone in Israel anyway and quite frankly it didn’t matter.

For the past 40 years my priority has been person. My children are what drove my decisions. Proper schooling, appropriate accommodations and comfortable living motivated my decisions once I had kids. Thing came second, because I had to support them, and getting a job was important. So finding the right place to teach and share my skills was also a priority. Place was significant only insofar as the children needed to be close to their father from whom I was separated.

As I transition in to a new stage of my life, person drives my choices. I will go anywhere in the world, and do anything, as long as it is with my partner. It’s person, too, because together we never want to be far from our kids. Place is second because living on Gabriola is, for now, an adventure we welcome and embrace. Travelling is another inspiration as I am still inspired by learning about diversity in our universe and welcoming new adventures while I still can. Thing is least important right now, as we transition into retirement. What we do and how we do it is made much easier with the flexibility and possibilities we have with our new found freedom.

Our daughter has thrived since her initial dilemma. She settled in Toronto with her (then) boyfriend and got involved with work that inspired her to pursue higher learning. She now has an MBA and is happy living in Toronto creating the life she carves for herself. She embraces change regularly, unthreatened by the challenges of difficult choices and possible slip ups.

Life offers us the adventure of change. When we are thrown off our familiar course, it is not unusual to feel confused, uncertain, and extra cautious. I want to welcome change and not be afraid. This coming year, my 61^st, will be an adventure, and mindfully, I want to embrace it with joy and understanding, surrounded by the love of people in my life, settled in to the places that help me feel good, engaged in those things that contribute to my state of bliss! For now…

Happy New Year 2015

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2015 looms just hours away! Our world is confusing right now, no doubt. Our young people seem baffled about their futures, so many contemplating work possibilities while still seeking balance with free time and fun. Uncertainty prevails.

It seems similar with my own cohorts too! Many of my friends are approaching ages of equanimity and awe. Change is imminent and possibilities are grand. I am at a stage of my life where everything I’ve always dreamed of is achievable.

My word for 2015 is awesome! I am aware of the complexities in our world. Sometimes I feel frightened about the unknown of what could happen. Random terrorist attacks, natural disasters that happen in response to our misuse of environment, disease and death resulting from toxins and poisons that we continue to ingest. To some degree, we as a civilization have not learned how to deal with the changes and complexities in our evolving world. I think we need to start zeroing in on what we have learned, and begin to fine-tune our journey to create a cleaner, safer and more productive world!

During my first few teaching years, I taught grade one children. I always say that in grade one, children come to class in September with their fingers up their nose and their thumbs in their mouths. They leave grade one as literate human beings no longer learning to read, but in pursuit of reading to learn. Learning is about being exposed to everything and absorbing only little bits at a time. We need time to process change to successfully grow.

Contrary to conventional lesson planning, my ‘reading’ classes were about ‘hanging out’ on the floor reveling in the experience and joy of books. Children lying on the floor, sitting together, or cuddled up in my lap were happily devouring a variety of picture books. Some ‘read’ upside down, simply making up words that told a story that they wanted to tell. Some children just simply carried the book, becoming comfortable with it in their hands, getting the ‘feel’ of books. Some children looked at the pictures and, not able to read the words, made up their own stories. Sometimes, since I had read the book to them so often, individual children would be able to read the book to each other by memorization.

The new skill of reading began with total immersion - an exercise in becoming familiar and comfortable with resources and concepts available for reading. Once the students settled in and demonstrated a comfort with books, I began the practice of teaching specific reading skills like phonics, word recognition, looking for meaning in text and pictures, fluency and critical thinking. That specific attention to skill development happens best once we have identified how a child will learn best, and only when he/she is ready to weed through the abundance of context to acquire and improve specific skills.

Maybe this won’t make sense, but I think the way my grade one children learned to read reflects the way we all learn to live a happy life!

I feel a little like that now. My life for the last few years has been an immersion in semi-retirement, and a push towards a life that is very different from my experiences of the last 40 years. I no longer have children at home. I have greatly reduced the hours I work in classrooms and universities. I go exploring in the world and travel to places that I never dreamed I’d see. My body is aging and functions differently from when I was younger. Mortality is ahead in the future. And I am less afraid about death and even about living!

I feel good about the future. I sit in meetings with young, energetic, smart teachers who are passionate about learning and living and teaching. I see a genuine focus on developing healthy communities in our cities and on world improvement through environmental repair and a healing of relationships. More people talk about the need for love and compassion when negotiating complex decision-making, conflict resolution and solving challenging problems in our world. Our own children are independent, committed to their work, their lives and bettering the lives of others. I still feel eager and able to give back to our generous universe.

As I anticipate the final decades of my life, I feel confident and strong. My shift in priorities becomes more obvious and my journey continues with clarity and intention. I am looking forward to a strong future of carefully crafted activities specifically focused on a new sense of priority and to the next decade of growth, continued health and adventure! Happy New Year all!

Hawaii

The coral bubbles out of the sea floor, varying shades of yellow...everything from sunshine yellow to pale beige. Every type of fish has some expression of yellow. Schools of bright yellow fish, one looking just like the other, dance together as they twirl through the waters. Hawaiian Hogfish, Trumpet fish, Hawaiian cleaners, Butterfish, Triggerfish and even the Moorish Idol adorned with yellow stripes. Hews of turquoise sometimes show glimmers of yellow. Even the large Honu (Sea turtles) sparkle with various sizes of yellow dots.

  

The turtles on The Big Island are regular residents. Unlike the fish, which primarily travel in schools, the Green Turtles tend to wander alone. They’re quite large and, though they’re not necessarily friendly, they tend to just go about their business without avoiding human encounters. I spend time following turtles when I spot one. They swim through the ocean, their massive span of wing-like flippers delicately flapping through the waters. Occasionally, one turns around, presses it’s turtle nose close to me and then turns back carrying through with his original intention. I am a mere curiosity. Sometimes he nestles under a rock and rest.  I saw at least one turtle every day. I think they’re probably my favourite sea buddies now!

Hawaii is wild! The topography offers spectacular vistas as we drive around the coast of the Big Island. Lush, green forests line the roads. Then black rocky lava loads cover the grounds. Lava rocks intermittently display sprouts of dry spiky clusters of yellow grass. The ocean is visible always, as we make our way north towards the volcano.

I feel a great sense of my parents’ presence. I was here with them more than 30 years ago. It was a gift from them for my 30^th birthday, so memorable, maybe because it was the only one. Their essence is present as I explore.

 

Hula and belly dancing accompany musicians in the cafes and restaurants. Hawaiian people are, generally welcoming and inviting. The music highlights the shrill, high pitch of the ukulele, and the voices compliment the sounds. Proprietors, entertainers, and servers demonstrate a love for their island, engaging vacationers to share it together.

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that we’re in the United States. “There sure are a lot of Americans here!” I said shortly after our arrival on Oahu. It was one of those statements we call ‘Jacquisms’ whose sense of humour targets the obvious. Hawaii is America. Culturally it displays a strong Polynesian and South Asian flavour. Hawaiian language is not English, though most residents speak both.

Daily rainbows span the sky as a gentle “Blessing Rain” settles on the ground and on me. Hawaii is a gloriously beautiful place to be. I definitely feel the blessing!